Conflict dating relationships
Not everyone goes through all the stages and some couples may go through them in a different sequence, but for most couples this is the normative experience in a long-term committed relationship.1. The feelings and perceptions that go through both people are that we are one; we are the same. I can give and receive love with little or no effort required.
For the first time in the relationship, there are occasional or frequent thoughts of leaving the relationship.This person who only recently appeared to be the embodiment of pure love and joy in your eyes suddenly seems self-centered and not to be trusted.Doubts arise as to whether the other person really loves you.What follows is a reality-based roadmap which comes from research into couples’ actual experiences of being in long-term relationships.While theorists disagree on the exact name and number of the stages couples progress through, there is a general consensus that couples go through some version of the following stages.But either way, something happens which causes a minor or major conflict in the new relationship.
Sometimes the trigger is living together and having to share household chores and experiencing personal habits up close.
Whatever the cause, after the conflict occurs, it becomes impossible to continue the fantasy that this person and this relationship are immune from struggle, from effort, from reality.
Differences which were previously obscured suddenly become visible.
The partners think about each other constantly, and make much eye contact and are very affectionate when they are together.
Many people experience this as living in a state of near-constant bliss and infatuation.
When attempting to create a loving, healthy intimate relationship, it is important to have an accurate roadmap for the journey.