Dating who should pay
An online date has to be casual, nonchalant, and most importantly, chill—you can’t commit to a four-hour dinner and a movie hang with someone when all you know about them is that they went to Machu Picchu once and “don’t want drama.”The go-to modern date now is a quick beer at a low-key bar.
Whereas I used to feel staunch in going half-and-half from the get-go, as if it were the upmost expression of feminism, I’ve softened with age. Who planned the date, who wants to express what, In the case of heterosexual dating, one friend of mine, who admits to being old school, says she prefers the guy to pay for the first few dates as an expression of his genuine interest — then she moves to splitting. I have as many friends who disagree; they don’t want the unspoken expectations that might come with being paid for, nor do they want to feel “taken care of” in the sort of archaic, gender-normative sense.The point is, you understand the importance of style. If a dude let me open doors all night, I’d be closed for business. It’s like you want me to sprinkle the petals all over a bed while Ginuwine’s “So Anxious” plays in the background. While generally, it’s the polite thing to do, I think it depends on how you met.Nothing dries up a woman’s birth canal like a dude who shows up looking like a six-foot-tall fourth grader. Of course, I’m just one woman and I can’t speak for my entire gender. If you already know each other through work, or friends, or some hipster kickball league, definitely offer to taker her home.The goal was for the scale to always return to zero, ideally down to the cent.At the time, I knew a bunch of couples who did it differently.My gay friend adheres to the inviter-pays approach, another one says he always splits.
My general feeling on the topic is that it’s more complicated than I’ve previously given it credit for.
If you’re on a date with a babe and you don’t see a future, have fun and get nasty. But if you meet someone you really like, slow your roll. The reason that men used to pick up the bill as a rule, is that most women didn’t work. If a guy doesn’t offer to pay on a first date, it’s usually the last date.
The more you trust and know each other the better it will be, anyway. A friend of mine once said, “A man who is financially cheap, is emotionally cheap.
“You want to take me to a restaurant with a tablecloth that brings free bread before you order? ”But say you meet someone, and you actually like her. Embrace the courtship period as a chance to reveal something about your character! Only if it’s senior prom and I’m wearing a flammable chiffon ball-gown.
Put some time and effort into your appearance and go out and right now, so I’m assuming you’re wearing Rick Owens drop-crotch pants and some cool, humongous watch that counts calories, tracks steps, and predicts how you die. Bringing flowers to a first date reeks of desperation. Whether you are walking or driving to a date, the question remains: Should you take your date home?
When I recently brought it up, he explained that footing the bill every once in a while is simply one way he expresses affection or appreciation, the same way I might send him an interesting article or bring him a treat from work.